Otto Spork, no relation to Samuel W.Francis or Harry L. McCoy , two US patent holders who gave us the eating utensil of the same name, is guilty of perpetuating a fraud not dissimilar to selling unwary investors shares of the Brooklyn Bridge or prime swamp land in a Louisiana bayou. Mr. Spork, a Canadian dentist turned villainous hedge fund manager, sold investors a scheme involving water rights he had secured on an Icelandic glacier.

This is not the plot to Tank Girl the movie, and the eponymous heroine and her companion, Jet Girl will not be saving our thirsty sweaty asses in their quirky post apocalyptic punk fashion.   Spork is not as deliciously evil as Kesslee, portrayed by Malcolm McDowell, but despite his genial grandpa looks, he may be more dangerous than any movie or comic book villain. This is a true story. No really… it really is based on fact. Check out the hyperlink or Google the bastard.

Spork is the real deal, a ruthless, greedy son-of-a-bitch who understands that global warming is real and the world is slowing dying of thirst. In the west we still take clean potable water for granted, but who knows where we’ll be in another generation or two.  People will buy tap water thrown through reverse osmosis process and bottled. Some day getting the life sustaining H20 may not be as easy as going to the kitchen faucet. Or even the local convenience store.

High above the world in Denver, Colorado we are experiencing continued mild winters that have not replenished our water supply. We’ve not managed our growth and two seasons of out of control wildfires are not making it any easier. Our mismanagement of the Colorado River has devastated villages down the river in Mexico. Lasting and perhaps even permanent water shortages are coming our way. The soil of larceny is rich in the nutrients necessary for the ruthless who believe it their right to profit from the rest of us.

Spork may be among the first generation of villains pioneering a whole new level of humanitarian crisis for profit. We shouldn’t be surprised by Otto Spork’s sociopathy, after all some of us have divvied up the same earth we all live in and parsed it off for sale or lease to the rest of us. Landlords have been with us for so long we seem to take it for granted that this is acceptable. God forbid, I sound like a Marxist. I know that might be a problem for many of you. Capitalism is dangerously entwined with the spiritual ethos of many westerners that they seem incapable of extricating their compassion from from their compulsion to create wealth. Humans are always ready to see what we can do. But, we seldom wonder if we should do it in the first place.

 Soon, however, the disbelievers in global warming may come to understand that materialist worldview is ruthless and unsustainable. There is only so much land to pave over and build on and only so much water. We live inside a closed ecosystem. A few degrees hotter and we might soon see that water is not as renewable a resource as we assume. Water can evaporate. Hopefully, it will end up in our atmosphere and rain back down on us for a little while longer.

Further Reading

OSC fines Otto Spork $1-million

Otto Spork’s Glacial Red Flags